2011

2011-04-05T18:54:00.001+08:00

i m no longer using this blog. so don t bother to even take a look here. no point.

2011-03-28T19:31:00.000+08:00

grrrr. i m having problems thinking and planning what to do on our next monthsary.

2011-03-15T18:45:00.002+08:00

Module : Sustainable tourism

Assignment : 2000 words of essay

Due : 17 March 2011 , thursday

since young , i have always love staying at home . now , that i know how to think , and now that my house is pretty and comfy , i hate to stay at home . especially whenever i have got exams coming up and overdues project to get it all done . as the moment i m at home , all i want to do is eat sleep eat sleep . haha . like pig .

since b is working , i decided to study nearby his work place . since we will be collecting his motorbike , after he ends work . long last , get to ride , after last thursday night . yahoo . and b wants to have his dinner at 8pm . it means that i have got to get my assignment done , before 8pm . as i have to buy him food and walk to his workplace . doink . one more hour to go . would i be able to make it ? . of course . this is sakinah lah sey . hehe .

i wonder how much the repair actually cost . i hope our money is enough . ouh pls . let us have a bit of balance of money after that . just enough to date on sunday . ouh pretty , please . i don t want to be sitting at home , on b's only off day . grrrr . i will go crazy .

alright . after thursday , till my exams are over , there will be my fun and play time . nana , i know i have neglected you . but you should not have made me upset . you should not have say all those words . i m sensitive you know . furthermore , you say it , on the day where everything goes wrong at home , and between b and me . wrong day . you say it as if i m not a good friend and never ever asked you if you were alright . i did , ok . if you think that i am not a good friend , what about you . were you a good friend to me ? . you once neglected me .

ok . let s make a pact . let us both not neglected each other , besides my exam time . i will spend equally times between you and b . and you should spend equally times between me and your other friends . ok ? .

2011-03-07T20:17:00.002+08:00

once upon a time , you have been a good boyfriend to me . i felt your presence every minute . you don t fail to make an effort to do things for me . those waking up calls . those often sms . those random calls . those sending and fetching . those dates . but i guess , things change . and it doesn t just change . it change so much in just a short period of time . you stop doing things for me . even the littlest and small ones . all i asked is just for you to SHOW me that you still do love and care for me . is it so hard ? . all i want is this , and not gifts .

you preferred going to youtube watching videos , rather than calling me and asked where i am , if i have eaten . even if you want to save , we still could meet up , and do something that doesn t concerns money at all . even if you doesn t want to sms and call , you can just open your facebook and msn , to chat up with me and webcam with me , rather than chatting up with other girls . even if you doesn t want to meet me up at my school , we could meet up even at jurong point or at my house . but no .

all u want is to think what is best for you and yourself . all you thinks about is you . than , what s the point of having me as a girlfriend if you doesn t want to entertain me . just to show me off to your friends .

you always compare . but you never realise . that i have did everything .

i introduce you to all my friends , even if it was just a terjumpa kind of thing . i always tell them you are my boyfriend . i rather use my money to celebrate your birthday , rather than going for my chemotherapy . i rather don t go to school , so i could get to spend time with you . coz i know you won t want to just accompany me to go eat , and than followed me to school .

at least i try and make an effort to do things . but what about you ? .

2011-03-07T19:20:00.002+08:00

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND . BUT I DON T FEEL LIKE I HAVE A BOYFRIEND . ALL HE CARES IS ABOUT HIMSELF ! .

2011-03-02T22:28:00.001+08:00

STAY FOCUS !

2011-02-26T11:52:00.002+08:00

i feel much more at ease now . i could say , i had a quiet joy .

i have created a list of priority , the things that i would like to have , and the things that i would like to do . usually , when i create a to do list , it would be successful . my top priority right now is my school and driving license , which all are to be done before august . and i m going to get iphone4 before may . yahoo . i m currently saving to get a car before my birthday next year .

i m going to re-paint my room . i m glad that the things that i do not need , i already gave some to nana , and some to kak ayu . but there s still few more things , that i need to pass to them . my sis is going to move . move to the other side of the room . and this master bedroom is mine and b . i m so happy . i m thinking of putting a big photoframe of my family , inclusive of b too , and hang it on the wall on top of my bed .

b s bdae present is settled , too . only waiting for few days before , to go to market and cook , for the picnic . that devil haven t been giving my tent back . damn it . argh . i hate him . haha . i hate his bitch too .

i m making a second cup of mocha , now . delicious . the coffee bean chocolate powder , seriously make miracle , and mix well , with almost everything . maybe , i should try and make chocolate ice blended , in the late afternoon .

thank you mother , for everything . i m glad that you are not like any other mother . i love you .

2011-02-21T17:47:00.003+08:00

i find myself stupid . for the last two years , i have enrolled my driving license . enrolled it even before my riding license . but i keep taking my own sweet stupid time , hence , have not passed it yet . CB . so i have wasted quite a lot of money . the money for PDL , 25 bucks , and the monthly deduction too , although it s just 10 bucks . but still , i have wasted quite a lot of money . since boyfriend was sick , i skipped school , to make sure he s alright . and since we will be paying our monthly installment , we decided to eat at bukit batok , our favourite place . scrumptious food . so since it s on the way , i renew my PDL too . i find BBDC website getting more and more stupid . what sey . don t tell me for this whole year , only two dates are available to book for prac . how the hell am i going to get it done and over with before raya . raya is in august . argh . it s alright . even if it takes me to wake up early in the morning , i will even do it . this is my top priority now .

b have been pampered me this few days , seriously . ouh thank god . even though , the communication between us is not so good like it used to be . but at least things are getting a bit better . i will give it some time , so that things could be much more better , like it used too .

thank you for the champs carebear , and the 6 carebear keychains . grrr . i didn t know that carebears have grams . it s a for sure , i got to get the elephant carebear . so extremely cute .

i m going to get a new modem later on , when i meet nana . i m tired of sharing it with my selfish sister . aku yang beli , dia yang pakai . ewah2 . sekarang , modem sort2 . asyik lost internet connection .

planning for b s bdae is getting very well . and i hope it will goes well too on his bdae . he wanted a blue crayfish so much . i will try to get it , without borrowing money . as i will spend quite a lot of money , on the food itself . obviously lah . i m not just whipping up a simple dish .

yes . i met zima yesterday . i m glad and happy for her , that things is going well for her in her life . careeer , relationships and financially . will plan a day to meet her and iqa up next week . she told me , i m getting prettier . hehe . even if it s not true , it means a lot to me . haha . as b suddenly praised me too .

2011-02-17T20:10:00.003+08:00

i don t wish to open my mind , heart to anyone else , other than nana . as i don t wish to . she alone , knows everything about me , is enough . we don t met up often , as she s busy with work , and i m busy with school and work . but we did talk a lot yesterday . haha . and talking to her , makes me think a lot . for one thing , that is important to me , is being grateful and treasure the moments that you had , and appreciate little or big things someone did for you .

i learnt something new from her . there s a chinese beliefs . which says that , a perfect match , is when the other is three years older than you and 12cm taller than you . i wonder if it s really true . as b is one year younger than me , and obviously only few cm tall than me , and not 12cm , definitely .

every other time when we fought . we kiss , we make out , and we make up .

this time , it s a serious matter . i m not taking anything lightly . meaning , no more chances .

finally , i have the courage to asked for the break up , although my heart don t actually wants the break up . but i guess , it s best for both you and me , my dear . i knew , you too doesn t want it . that s why you hang up the phone , and try to come to my house asap . like all those other times when we fought , we kiss , we make out , and we make up .

this time , i mean what i say . no more chances .

you treat me good today , just like those days .

we ate at ananas cafe . we went to school together . you msg me often . those random phone calls . i hope you will really change for the better this time . and forever . not for a short period of time .

boy , you mean a lot to me . so please , do show me , that i mean a lot to you , if you still want this relationship to go on . little things matters a lot to me .

love you .

2011-02-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

boyfriend bought me an ipod shuffle . hehe . since i lost my ipod shuffle last year . actually , i wanted to get myself an ipod classic next month . but since b got me an ipod shuffle , i could buy myself iphone 4 soon . thank you b . it have been quite some time since u last get me a present .

b s bdae is coming . in a month time . and i am at a loss of what to get for him . b wanted a sony vaio laptop . and i told b , he have to wait for a long time , if he wanted a laptop from me . so , i told b , that if he wanted a gift from me , he have to decide what he wants before midnight today . it s not that i am not sincere in buying him a gift . but i don t want to waste my time and money , getting him something that he s rarely going to used and will not find it useful at all . just like those monthly gift that i gave to him . b has a bad habit . we fight , he throw the recent gift away . what a waste .

it have been such a long time , we last went out together . b has become such a workaholic this few months . in the end of the month , still he always have no money . hais . than work so hard for what ? . bwek . but i m glad he is back in his track , saving again . though , recently . so , i m seriously going to make b bring me out tomorrow .

and b s going to bring me out tomorrow . no plan yet . but i had this sudden crave to eat mee goreng tom yum at changi village . and sticky chewy candy at clarke quay . and fried mars bar from british takeaway . hehe . can i have it all tomorrow ? . hehe . last time , i could have it all . but now , no no no .

b have been good to me this few days . after the recent fought that we had . a big one indeed . pity my hands , stomach and neck from getting hurt yet again . b have been msging and calling me often . but i really wish , things will be just how it used to be . maybe it will , but it takes a long time . or maybe , it won t . i myself am not sure . it s alright . i m tired of hoping and dreaming so much . let s just wait and see .

and i can t wait to repaint my bedroom walls again . yeah . 2010 , it is yellow and orange . maybe 2011 will be pink and white . hehe . i m still deciding . what s up with me , and all those pinky colours this days . i m not sure either . maybe , it s just is my colours this days . and i ve got to set a date to paint . last year , it took three days . could i get it complete within a day and a half . yes . if i ve got a lot of people . i will get b to paint of course . and maybe , with his best friends to help too .

anyway , i ve got quite a lot of valentines present this year . a diamond ring , chocolate powder from coffee bean , zoo hp straps , red rose , frey dark chocolates . hehe . all this not from b . b got all jealous and emo when he saw all this . but still , what i love best is , the ipod shuffle with engraving and with lots of love from b . hehe . i wonder if the iphone4 , i could get it with engraving too . i could write my name . hehe .

got to have an early night . going to be along day tomorrow . hope everything goes well tomorrow . good fun and no fight . can b ? .

2011-02-06T18:17:00.003+08:00

everyone has mouth . everyone bitches about each other . friends bitch about the other friends . best friend bitch about the other best friend . girlfriend bitch about the boyfriend to the best friend . bosses bitch about their employees . employees bitch about the bosses . sister bitch about their mother , their father and their siblings . so , don t tell me , that you don t ever bitch about your best friend , or about your mother , or about your boyfriend . stupid .

we cannot please everybody . if we have 10 friends , there will always be one or two among the tens , who don t like you . don t tell me , you like everyone . and don t dare come to tell me , that everyone likes you . neither you or i , are angels from heaven .

fire started or fire starter ? . hahaha . it s just about a jeans . just take your own sweet time , to find it , and return it . why make a fuss about it ? . didn t you say this , i boleh pakai , cuma ketat sikit .

alright . you are not sure what you did is wrong . let s do this . if you think you are not wrong , and you are not scared . why not you come over our house , and meet my mother . if you come over , it means you are not scared and did nothing wrong . if you don t come , it means that you are wrong and a coward .

as if i care that both of you burst into tears . my problem is it ? .

why do you have to be against your boyfriend , to beat my sister up . just beat lah . if you not happy , you can come join in and beat my sister , too .

i am just my eyes to see , and ears to hear . deep in your heart , you know you are wrong and you are making a big fuss out of it .

kalau tak salah , tak perlu takut nak datang bersemuka dengan mak aku .

langkah aku dulu , kalau kau nak pukul adik aku . berani , kau datang arh pukul adik aku . cakap besar . muka tak lawa . education pun sampai mana saja . nak cakap besar . jumpa kalau berani . bodoh .

terasa kan . hehe . apa lagi kau nak cakap dkt blog kau . tulis lah . i will always have words to return back to you .

you say , you told your mother everything . from a to z . if it s the truth , did you tell your mother what you did with my brother ? . did you tell her about the money that my brother gave you . i don t think so . berani buat , berani tanggung . i dare you to tell your mother this . let s see what your mother say . you are the most stupid girl , i have ever met . got brain , but doesn t want to used . and seriously , if you really did tell your mother a to z , nothing but the truth , get her to call me .

2011-02-02T13:24:00.004+08:00

how you treat me , is how you want to be treated . if you think you deserve better , think again . i m tired of always have to put you first , when you don t appreciate the biggest or even the littlest thing that i have done .

you wanted me to cook , i cook . food is ready , and there you go , giving me harsh words , saying you were full .

you were sick , and i trying to take care of you . and it suddenly reminds me , of how you left me alone , when i had my big operation . so harsh words come from my mouth . you get angry . but what i m saying , is nothing , but the truth .

don t ever blame me now , why i keep everything from you . as you are not going to be there , when i need you urgently . neither will you , trying to make me feel better . it will be such a waste telling you . as i expect you to always be there through my tough times , take care of me , like how you used to do , and shower me with undying love and patience , instead of , the don t care treatment , disrespect , force , and rough hands .

i still love you the same , no matter what . but truth is i m not happy , like how i used to be .

2011-01-28T18:22:00.002+08:00

argh . i m freaking mad .

stop giving lame excuses , like , you just reboot your hp , or whatever shit . as actually , that hp is new , and there s no need for you to reboot it . nak tipu pun , agak2 lah . easy of you , to give your numbers , just like that . nak jual badan pe ? . tak cukup satu ? . dipersilakan . i m not going to say , no , you can t do that . suka hati kau nak buat apa yang kau nak . alright .

2011-01-26T18:46:00.002+08:00

yesterday , we fought . today , we make up . usually , we will make up after a few hours , right after , we fought . but this is the longest time it takes , till we make up . a day and a half .

how we make up this time , was funny . i gave B messages that are full of criticism . while i was sleeping , B came over bought home cooked food , and tadaa , everything s back to normal . but i m not sure if things will remained the same , worsed , or better . obviously , i wish it to be better , and back to when we get together . one thing for sure , although the criticism is hurtful , B , it s the fact that you have to know .

B bought for me the carebear prepaid mastercard cum ez link card . i have yet to show B , the card . it comes with a small soft toy . i am so a huge fan of carebear . hehe . B bought himself a drifted remote control car .

i bought B a volcom hat . it s in blue . B loves blue . i bought myself a carebear bedsheet queen size set , which definitely comes together with a comforter . although the comforter was not a queen size , but single , i still wanted it badly .

i m not sure if i can buy something for B during our next monthsary cum valentine s day . as the pay that i will be getting is not even a hundred . serve me right .

2011-01-20T22:00:00.002+08:00

i m always full of imaginations . and sometimes , i will get tense , when my imaginations don t come true . but only for a while . an example , is of today .

i woke up in the morning . today was my exam . so i was hoping , that i will wake up , and there was breakfast ready for me . since my boyfriend sleepover at my place . usually , we will make breakfast together . but we have been having a few misunderstanding this few days . so it have always been me making breakfast for him for the few days . ya lah . i thought that since we fought , and it was my exam today , so at least he wants to make a bit of effort to appease me and motivate me , by making breakfast . waking up , with him still sleeping , of course lah , i m angry . he didn t even wake me up yesterday , when he reached here . not even a goodnight kiss . but , i did feel that he did caressed me . alright , forgiven . but , i did told you , to wake me up , as i want to stay up late , to do some extra studying . i boleh teman you belajar . you tak boleh teman i belajar . why ehk ? . a guy will tends not to do the things that he used to do , after he s pretty sure that the girl will go through thick and thin together , and will not leave him . still , obviously , i make breakfast again for him . yet , another day .

boyfriend make a pact with me . i will be studying for four years . boyfriend says that if i will be able to do well in the first two years , we will get married earlier . whatever lah b . haha . so i make a joke out of it , saying all kinds of things . we will not be buying each other , the unimportant things , since there s a lot of important things that we need to settle first . boyfriend needs to settle his bike . and i need to get A s for my exams and continue my driving license . haha . but an exception in getting a new psp and ipod shuffle . i m glad , that our hard earned money , are used wisely . and boyfriend will upgrade the amount that he have been saving every month .

i have make up my mind . i m no longer will be thinking about other people s feelings . i dah banyak sangat kesian dekat orang . alah . orang bukan nya kesian dekat kita . pentingkan diri sendiri je . no more helping people with unnecessary things . to hell with them . menyusahkan orang ada lah .

since i terima cabaran you . you terima lah cabaran i . good luck boyfriend .

2011-01-19T11:37:00.003+08:00

Seriously , this few days , i m really not happy at all . everything seems not to go as what i have planned .

school project . i should have handed it in yesterday . yesterday was the date due . actually , i have completed it by last week . last week , i wanted to handed it in . but there was no time . i was busy with work , and was with my boyfriend all the time . problems that i m having at home , make me scared to stay up late all night , to study for my exam , which i be having tomorrow . i was totally hurt with what boyfriend did , so while i was checking on my project , for like the last time , i m not sure what button that i pressed , till everything was like gone . i try to calm myself down . trying to forget what i just did , and trying to forget how boyfriend have been hurting me , for the last few days . than boyfriend called , and say , that he have shortage . and he asked me , if i have money . obviously , i don t . the last money that i had , we spend it on your volcom cap , remember . no regrets buying you that . and the stupid fines that we had . but totally hurt , when you blame your shortages that you had , on me . hello . i m no longer even working as the same place as you . i m not even there , to hold on to your money , or whatever shit lah . it s lame of you , to blame it on me . because i love you , i attempt to called epy , and asked for his help . he was totally lazy on going down and transferring you the money . i pleaded him , alright .

you totally know how school is important to me . and how i take it seriously . you even know i had exams tomorrow . yet yesterday , you choose to go to your house , just to watch tv , though , i strongly told you i doesn t want and i disagree . what . my house , got no tv is it . as days goes by , you are being totally selfish . and i hate how you have been acting . since you like to be like that so much , from now onwards , i m not going to care about you . if you want to say so much , that i m too engrossed with work and school , go ahead . i fucking don t care now . since you don t care about my feelings , why should i care about yours . just go to hell , for all i care .

if i got money with me , to buy myself what i wanted to eat , i don t mind . but i don t have . of course , i m very angry , that you eat my share . i didn t get to eat yesterday , because of you . you have money what , buy yourself what you want to eat lah . i thought of having a nice full breakfast , and than i could concentrate with my project and getting ready for my exam tomorrow . but , hell no . you are the only one who is hungry lah , i m not . chibai . now i m so fucking hungry , that i couldn t concentrate at all .

i am so going to fail . what . you want to pay 1600 bucks for me , so i could retake this two module , so i could get my cert with flying colours . or you want to pay 20 000 , if i failed everything .

it s already bad enough , you doesn t want to go anywhere that i wanted . everything have to follow your choice . it s already bad enough too , that you wouldn t with me , during my tough times . it s already bad enough also , that you were happily jolly with other girls , when i m sick . you say , you wanted to make it up to me , and prove to me , that it s not going to happened again , and that you love me . but hell no , talk only , action zero . but you are making me more and more stressful , with your attitude . every wrongdoings that you made , i get upset and totally hurt , but you doesn t care . because everytime i got upset , you didn t come to me , to make everything alright . i was the one , who have to go to you , to say , it s alright , i m not angry . you just do whatever you want , as long you are happy .

add on , to the stress too , that i m having at home , at work , with the moron guys too .

another lame thing you told me . that makes you to be a selfish person . was when you say , that , the moron guys , can t see how nice you are with me , coz later , they will be more nicer to me , to get my attention , and than you will get more upset and jealous . what sey . you should save me from this distressed that i m having , not ignore everything , and think about your feelings only .

argh ! ! ! ! . i m so stressed and unhappy , that my pimples and acne , are coming back ! .

2011-01-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

even though , i couldn t eat mcdonald breakfast , my day was awesome .

as usual , everytime b came over to sleepover , i will cook for him the moment he wakes up . b is being so nice to me , by bringing me to geh poh , so i could have my bubble tea , and than , off he send me to work .

i was shocked , when i received a sms from b . haha . b was so jealous , because uncle post i love you , over at my facebook . b forgets he was my uncle . he is my uncle . only that , not much people know , as we are working over at the same place . it s better to keep our profile low . b actually , is not a forgetful person . but usually , when he thinks too much , and get all stressed up , he will forget things . b is jealous . ouh . it just shows that b love me . hehe . i love you too .

argh . pauline wants me to get the inventory paper work , all done by tomorrow . ouh man . taking care of cheers and doing paperwork at the same time , is a tough job . sorry boss . it s not that i don t want to go for the staff outing and spend an awesome days with you people . it s just that it s very far . yishun safra . oh man . i m very sorry .

mum is very nice to me too . usually , right after she punchout , she will go to cheers , and check if i m working or not . but today , she was too stressed up , concentrating on my brother , that she didn t check on me . it was raining cats and dogs today . she took cab home . when she reached jalan bahar , than she decided to call me . guess what . she asked the taxi driver to u-turn , just to fetched me . so sweet . guess how much the taxi fare was . 59.60 . haha . rich mama .

i m not cooking b dinner today . bought for him all his favourite food at pasar malam .

i m a bit lazy to update . i m waiting for b , to have a lovelyy late dinner with him .

2011-01-14T11:38:00.002+08:00

yesterday , you hurt me so damn much . i try to keep it , everything , inside my heart . so little you think of me . yet , today , early in the morning , you could do it again . you want to know everything . i told you . than you make me upset . it s enough , that every other random days , you could hurt me . why do you keep hurting me , during my anniversary . argh ....

i m really not sure , what is in your mind . i used to think , i wish i could read your mind , to be able to know what you have been thinking , whenever , you keep seeing those girls , whenever you hurt me . to be able to know what s in your mind , so i could make everything alright , and make you stop hurting me . but , guess what , when i think about it , i rather not know what s in your mind . coz it will just make me hurt more .

still , happy 20th anniversary . love you . muah .

2011-01-12T21:48:00.003+08:00

i couldn t get myself to sleep at all even though i was too tired . too many things on my mind . i was too stressed with b . i m also scared at the same time . argh . i think , i will be having a depression , sooner or later .

b . let me tell you this . if you think , you are not up to fulfiling the promises that you once make , next time , do not make promises . promises is a really big work . and ladies , look up to the promises , that their love ones make .

yes . jean is married . but people who are married , can get a divorced . people who are married , can also have an affair . you did break that promise of yours , once . are you thinking of breaking it again . alright . it will not be a big deal for me , if you told me earlier , like totally in advance . but what , i asked than you tell me . if i never asked , you won t tell me . so it means , you don t actually wants me to know about it . argh . i trust you . it s not that i don t trust you . it s just that , all of the promises that you once make , is of a great big deal to me . and i m just scared , that what happened before , between you and her , happened again . nothing is impossible . if it happened before , it can happened again .

i can t afford to lose you again , to another girl . if , to a girl , who is better than me . i don t mind . but to a girl , that is much worse than me , ouh , please , i won t let you go . when you gave me that long tight hug , i know that you love me as much as i love you . it s just that , you are kayu , very hard to express you love towards me . i will still continue hoping that you be as romantic and always give in to me , like when we first get together .

thank you b . for sleeping over at my house , and be by my side , when i got disturbed and totally scared . all though , you are already tired , and all you wish , is to be able to get a good peaceful night sleep . and also for not scolding me , as i chose not to go to work . hehe . it feels good , having you sleeping by my side . seeing you sleeping , while drooling . haha . *joking* .

ouh . your property ehk b . fine . than , you are not to touch any of my property anymore . your property , you can share with anyone else . your scandal . your friend . up to you . i don t care . it hurts me , when you say that .

b . you didn t give me any goodbye kiss at all , when you go off to work . ouh man . it s raining cats and dog . see . i told you to bring raincoat . stubborn .

remember b . today we are renovating the bike . let s get it started today , and let s ended it today , too . no postponing anymore . i want to go out on friday , to celebrate our anniversary , not to continue renovating on the bike .

yes . yes . dad is back home , from shore . i m loving it .

2011-01-11T20:03:00.003+08:00

i have never feel as scared , like this before . yes , i admit , this is not the first time , it happens . but somehow , whatever happened yesterday , is much more scarier and something that i never expect it to happened . thank god , i believe in god . maybe , whatever is happening , has it s own reason . i m just not sure of it .

i have never felt so excited , when i woke up . maybe , it s because , i m suppose to go to school together with b . but , all of a sudden , i was told , that my class will start at a later time . b told me to just stay at home . i feel so guilty . so i told b , to wait up for me , while i faster get ready . i told him , that i could reached school earlier , and maybe , check on my project assignment , before i handed it in . but suddenly , i feel all down , when b says he wanted to go to school first , and by bike . i thought we have planned , that we are going to school together , and i will be fetching you at simei mrt , by train . i wonder , why , all of a sudden , you want to go by bike . didn t you tell me that you wanted to scrimp and save . so it will be only public transport . if you are late , i m understand . but it s still early . i , obviously , started to think negatively . it s not that i don t trust b . it s just that , i m very scared , that the past will happened again . it has happened once . it can happen for another time . hais . so i get all upset , and i didn t go to school at all .

sis wanted to go out . and because of what happened yesterday , obviously , i wouldn t want to stay at home , right . so , i decided to fetched b , at simei mrt . i try to put aside my hurtful feeling , though . if b wants to be the fire , i will be the water . guess , who i met , in the mrt , that bitch . i just hate seeing her face , or her name . but still , i couldn t help , but to mention her name towards b . the name , used to be b s favourite . she already got a boyfriend , yet , wants to get her hands on my boyfriend . boyfriend , also , being a guy , and being itchy , can entertained . bullshit . alright . calm down hani . it s 2011 . god s will , it won t happened again , alright .

b . i will buy the network card for psp go , again . and get kakak to help with it . but than , if still cannot , can i please sell the psp go . it will not fetched a good price , like you bought it for me . but than , i could get a normal psp , so that we could be able to play games together , like we used to . please . if you won t allow it , it s alright . what matters is , i did ask you for permission first . and one more thing , could i get the old money notes from you back . please b .

i m sorry best friend , i didn t went to meet you . till b knows everything about u , and met u , i won t go and meet you . b is everything to me . like i always say .

b . i know . you actually don t trust me at all . but , you have no reason , not to trust me . i didn t do anything wrong . but , trust me . my heart is only for you , b . it actually hurts me , that you don t trust me . but , it s alright . i understand , you are scared of losing me . but you didn t have any reasons , not to trust me , you know . love you badak . muah .